Posted by Joseph (24.87.16.184) on January 08, 2004 at 02:48:33:
In Reply to: update posted by Jeanine on December 15, 2003 at 14:55:00:
Hi Jeanine:
I remember our telephone conversation. I remember that you had to sell your house and move into property that’s connected to family. I also remember how brave you were for making the choices you did. Not many people have your strength, stamina and endurance, Jeanine. When adversity came into your life, you stared it right in the face and not for one second did you let go. People like you are hard to forget.
Your husband is back. Okay…
Jeanine, I wish I could promise you that if you get back together with him you will not ever have heartache. I can’t. However, I do have some suggestions for you that may limit the potential for heartache should you choose to re-join with him.
The first thing that I would suggest would be to make a plan together that ensures that what happened in the past will not be repeated. Pick a goal that is mutual between the two of you and map out the steps together that you will both commit to taking to achieve it. Also make a list of consequences that will occur should either of you not fulfil your part of the agreement and make them stick. That way if you notice things going awry you can immediately act in a way that will not be a surprise and no one can accuse the other of not being fair. Should your plan not work all together then you will at least know that you were above board and gave it your best.
The second thing I would suggest is find a good marriage counsellor that both of you can agree to go to. If he is willing to work on the marriage and is sincere about not repeating patterns of the past then he should be willing to go. If he’s not then that might be an indication of his level of sincerity.
Please let me know if I can be of further assistance.
Take care,
Joseph